Sunday, July 21, 2013

Marriage - Forgive.

I'm Sorry.

Forgive me?


     I'm sorry I have been MIA for a few weeks.  I have been working quite a bit and also sick for almost a week, so I have been out of the blogging thing for a bit.  Being sorry fits perfectly because that's what this blog is about!


     Forgiveness is HUGE not only in marriage, but in any relationship.  If you aren't able to forgive, you aren't ready to be in a long term, committed relationship.  If you are in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and you have trouble forgiving - get that figured out before you go any further!!  I'm not say break up, by any means, but you owe it to yourself and your partner to be able to forgive them when they make mistakes.

    In our pre-marital class, we were taught that arguments are part of not only marriage, but life in general.  In any friendship, relationship, or even a work atmosphere, arguments and differences of opinion are going to happen.  Let me say that again.

They WILL happen.
Not, "they MAY happen,"
not, "they COULD happen,"
they WILL.

     If you are reading this and you have been in a relationship for years and haven't had an argument at all, I want to take this time to congratulate you and invite you to read the four lines above over and over again.  I don't care if you have been with someone for ten years and have (somehow) not had an argument, you will.  If you are committing your life to someone, you will eventually butt heads over something.

     Since Jacob and I started dating, we have bickered about what movie to see, where to go out to eat, how to pronounce a word.  Yeah - how to pronounce a word.  That actually happened and ending up being a pretty legit argument.  It all comes down to pride.  Jacob and I are both prideful people and no matter how stupid the subject matter, neither of us has any desire to back down and admit they are wrong.  If I started a discussion with him about how the sky is actually kind of green, I could potentially get my feelings hurt when he doesn't agree with me.  This is something HUGE that both of us have been working on, and we have come quite a ways, actually.  I have backed down in situations where I knew it would be stupid to keep up the bickering and so has Jacob.  I can't stress enough that in any relationship, pride is not welcome.  I'm not saying let your significant other walk all over you, but don't let your pride hurt them either. 

     One thing that I am so proud of in my marriage and relationship with Jacob is that we have NEVER had an argument that didn't get resolved before the night was over.  We have NEVER gone to bed angry with each other.  Ephesians 4:26 says, "don't sin by letting anger control you.  Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry."  This is a verse that we have based our relationship around and I am so thankful to God that we have been able to do so.  Please take this to heart:  don't waste precious moments being angry with the one you love.  Jacob lost someone close to him a year ago this May and ever since then, I have been so fearful that when Jacob goes to work, he could not come back.  Life can so easily be taken away from us.  Don't waste precious moments with that person you spend your life with arguing about what's for dinner or how to discipline the kids.  Spend time loving one another and putting their needs above your own. 

Forgive each other.

Mrs. A

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Marriage - SUPERweek Two

Two weeks into this marriage thing...

...and I totally dig it!

     Week two is behind us and week three is looking us in the face!  Like I previously posted, the fact that Jacob works out of town is pretty rough.  However, there is good news on the horizon.  Jacob's last day at his current job is this Friday and then he will be coming home to me every night which I could not be more excited about.  He has a couple jobs he is looking into and we will finally be in the same city again. 

     These last couple days this week have been really hard.  I find myself wishing with all my heart that my husband could just come home and sleep next to me before going to work the next day.  I know that wouldn't be good for him because he would have to get up so early, but it doesn't stop me from wishing that is would happen.  I have to keep my chin up and remember that there are only two more days before my husband is home.

Back to last week...

     This previous weekend we had the privilege of seeing Man of Steel in the Old Town Theater.  It was absolutely amazing.  I couldn't help but tell Jacob how Henry Cavill is such a "good actor" and his shoulders were "very big."  That's pretty much all I'm going to say about that... Anyways, the movie was fantastic and definitely made me proud to be a Kansan.  Superman is one of us.  How legit is that?

Such a good actor.

 Can't wait until my Superman is home.

Much Love and Happiness,
Mrs. Atchley

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Marriage: Working Husband

I am blessed with a man who works hard to makes sure that we can pay the bills and have the things we need. However, he works in a town a little over an hour away and we can't afford for him to travel back and forth everyday, so he is gone Monday thru Friday. This will be the first week that I am without my husband. 

Since Jacob and I lived together prior to marriage, I will say that not too much has physically changed in our relationship since we tied the knot. There is, however, a different kind of spiritual and emotional bond that wasn't there before. I find myself not getting onto him over stupid, little things that I would have before. Those things don't seem to matter anymore. Because of this new found marriage bond, saying goodbye to him this morning was especially hard.

I am not a fan of him having to travel so far so early. Ever since his grandpa passed away in a car accident a little over a year ago, I have had this almost phobia of Jacob traveling. I just realized how quickly a life can be taken and how much his life means to me. So whenever I don't have the control over the car or I'm not with him, it's hard for me to breath and think positively about him traveling. You may think that's strange, but I'm just trying to be honest with what I have to deal with day-to-day.

Back to the week without my husband. I have to take a moment to gives much needed shout out to those military wives (and husbands.) I have no idea how you do it. You are amazingly strong people and I think each one of you needs recognition. I hate being away from Jacob for the four days a week I have to say goodbye to him. I can't imagine saying goodbye to him for months or years at a time, not knowing if he is going to come back safely. I know your spouse is the one that is fighting for our country, but you are fighting the fear that you may have to raise a family on your own. Each one of you are my heroes and thank you for allowing your spouses/fathers/mothers and so on to fight for our freedom.

I know I miss Jacob already and he hasn't been gone an hour yet. But I also know that this is what needs to be done right now in our life. He is currently looking for a job in town so that this won't have to go on much longer. Until then, I am going to have to be thankful for the hard working man that God has blessed me with.

-Mrs. Atchley

Monday, June 17, 2013

Marriage: Week One

     The Honeymoon

     Week one of marriage was blissful.  Blissfully humid.  It was both of our first time's to Florida.  Getting off the plane in Orlando, the airport, air conditioned, had to have been about 85 - 90% humidity.  We got off our plane at about 10:30pm and after getting our baggage and making our way to the Disney Magical Express, we arrived at our resort at 12:00am.  We hadn't thought to eat all day so when we got to the Port Orleans: French Quarter resort, cast member Mariah gave us the number to Dominos as well as buttons stating that we were her favorite guests of the day.  We finally got our pizza at 1:00am and we were asleep by 2:30am.

I was like a five-year-old child on this trip.  After a fifteen hour day of travel the previous day, I was up and ready to go to the Magic Kingdom by 9 in the morning.  Jacob dragged a little bit more.  After some breakfast, we headed to the Magic Kingdom along with what I can only assume is half the population of the United States.  We run into a parade right in the gates of the Magic Kingdom and we slowly make our way to Tomorrowland to Space Mountain.  The first day, we didn't utilize the Fast Passes and waited in line for two hours.  Nope, never again.  I am an impatient person and if it hadn't been my honeymoon, I am fairly certain some children would have been kicked.  We ride Space Mountain and it wasn't worth the two hour wait but it was still okay.  After that we were both pretty beat and decided to go back to the hotel to rest before our dinner reservation at Whispering Canyon Restaurant in the Wilderness Lodge resort.  Whispering Canyon was so fun.  The waitresses and waiters play these rude and annoyed people.  I knew to expect it, so I thought it was fun, but I think if someone were to come in there not expecting it, they could be taken aback at first.  Food was excellent and there was alot of it.  After dinner, Jacob suggested that we go to Downtown Disney to see a movie.  We headed to Downtown Disney where the other half of the  population of the United States was and headed to the AMC 24 theaters to see Now You See Me.  During the movie, I drank a much needed Angry Orchard and settled into the plush seats with my husband.  The movie was phenomenal.  One of the best movies I have seen in quite a while.  See it.  Right now.  After the movie, we went to the hotel and fell into much needed sleep.

On Tuesday, I made the mistake of scheduling a breakfast reservation at 7:55am.  Okay, I didn't think about the fact that it was my honeymoon, I only took into consideration that I wanted to meet my favorite character of all time, Minnie Mouse.  So at 6:30am I get my begrudging husband out of bed and we head to breakfast.  Breakfast was okay and I did get to meet Minnie (which was awesome) as well as Donald Duck and Goofy.  After breakfast, we headed back to the hotel and rested the rest of the day and cancelled our dinner reservation because we were taking a much needed day and evening of relaxation.  I don't recall doing anything else that day other than sleeping.  Reasonable though!  It was a vacation!

On Wednesday, we finally got to sleep in and didn't get out of the hotel room until about lunch time.  We decided we wanted to check out Disney Hollywood Studios for lunch.  We had lunch in this fifties diner complete with waitresses that called you, "Sweetie," and reminded you to keep your elbows off the table.  I had old fashioned meatloaf and a boston cream parfait for dessert, both were absolutely divine.  Jacob had the fried chicken and had a strawberry sundae for dessert.  We wandered around Hollywood Studios and I got Jacob to ride the Hollywood Tower of Terror, (he wasn't a big fan of the idea of free falling in an elevator.)  We utilized the Fast Pass on this ride and got into the ride within fifteen minutes of entering the line.  After the Tower of Terror, we went to the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt show and we both were chosen to be extras on stage.  The show was packed (about 1000 people) and nine extras were picked, so it was pretty cool that both Jacob and I got to experience that.  I met the man playing Indiana and although he wasn't Harrison Ford, it was still really cool.  We also went on the Star Tours ride which was a 3D virtual ride through Tatooine and the Death Star.  On that ride, come to find out that I was a rebel spy for the republic and Darth Vadar was after that was exciting too!  We also utilized the Fast Pass on this ride and got in within ten minutes.  Then we headed to Epcot for the first time because our dinner reservations were there.  I have to say:  I was not very impressed with Epcot.  I think that it would have been a little better if we weren't walking around in the rain, but there isn't much to do if you aren't planning no shopping.  I definitely wouldn't recommend it to families because there isn't much to keep the kids entertained.  We went to Tokyo Dining for sushi, which was a really cool experience because a Japanese woman was serving us and I got to experience the kindness and humility of the culture. 

Thursday came with rain.  It was a relief from the humidity...but not fun to walk around in.  We didn't get out of the hotel before lunch time again, we finally got the hang of the sleeping in thing.  After lunch, we lounged around for a little while and then headed to Animal Kingdom for our dinner reservations at Rainforest Cafe.  It was a very fun experience with delicious food.  I ate a steak with chocolate death cake for dessert and Jacob had steak and coconut shrimp with cheesecake for dessert.  After dinner, we went out to explore the Animal Kingdom only to find that they closed at 8:00pm.  So we headed to the Magic Kingdom that night hoping the crowds may have thinned a bit.  We arrived once the Electrical Parade began so many of the people were centered on the center of the park, so we headed to Adventureland to ride Pirates of the Carribean.  Pirates is always a fun ride.  It isn't necessarily the most amazing, but it's cool to see the ride that inspired the movies.  After Pirates, we went to Frontierland and rode Splash Mountain and Thunder Mountain.  Splash Mountain was a blast.  Both Jacob and I really enjoyed it.  Thunder Mountain was a lot of fun too, but we got stopped twice the first time we rode it which took away from the experience.  As we were leaving Magic Kingdom, we saw the "Celebration" show on the castle which was aboslutely amazing.  They had projectors set up all around the park pointing at Cinderella's Castle and they had a show projected onto the castle.  If I get a chance, I will post it because it was phenomenal to watch.

Our last day in Disney, we decided to lounge around until that evening, just spending time as husband and wife.  Once we got out, we headed to the Magic Kingdom for dinner at Tony's Town Square Restaurant, the restaurant made famous by Lady and the Tramp.  I had a spare rib over orzo pasta and Jacob had the strip steak.  Jacob ate key lime cheesecake for dessert and I had the pistachio creme brulee which was to die for.  After dinner, we went and met Mickey Mouse and then headed back to Frontierland and grabbed a Fast Pass for Thunder Mountain and braved the line for Splash Mountain again.  We only waited about 45 minutes for Splash Mountain and had lots of fun on it again.  Then we went and waited for our fast pass time for Thunder Mountain.  Once our fast passes hit, we were on Thunder Mountain within twenty minutes.  It was much better the second time because we didn't get stopped that time.  After Thunder Mountain, we headed back to the hotel and got to see the "Celebrations" show again.  Once we got passed all of the people, we decided we wanted to go to Downtown Disney to get last minute gifts.  We got back to our hotel at about 11:00pm only to find that Jacob had accidentally left his phone on the bus.  After calling it a few times and sending texts, Jacob filled out a lost and found voucher and we went to bed at about 1:00am only to have to wake up at 3:45am to get ready to go to the airport.

As we were checking out of our hotel, the cast member that was helping us handed Jacob his phone saying they had just brought it by.  We had safe flights both to Chicago and to Wichita and were home by 2:00pm on Saturday.

The honeymoon was great.  All in all, I think that I prefer Disneyland in Aneheim, CA to Disney World because the weather is much more agreeable and I am a huge fan of the Universal Studios in CA.  The best part of the trip, planning wise, was the Disney Dining Plan.  With the DDP, both Jacob and I got one quick service meal, one table service meal, and one snack per day.  With the meals, we got a non-alcoholic drink, an entree, and a dessert.  I think this was so great because had we saved money to go out to eat, we still would not have been able to eat the way we did at the prices they have.  At the Rainforest Cafe, I was able to order a $35.00 steak dinner as well as a $10 dessert and Jacob was able to get $30.00 steak and shrimp with his $10 dessert as well.  It is an awesome deal and I recommend it to anybody who is planning a trip to Disneyland or Disney World.

Sorry this is super detailed, I just wanted to recount the amazing time that I had with my new husband.

-Mrs. Atchley 

Marriage: The Wedding Day

June 8, 2013
The Day I Married My Best Friend

     The week of my wedding, I was incredibly calm.  I was wondering when the nerves would begin to set in.  Three days before?  Two?  Nope.  My bachelorette party was the Thursday before my wedding and was very fun!  The day before the wedding came and with the rehearsal came some frustrations on the legistics of the ceremony, but they were quickly worked out and the second run through ran smooth.  The rehearsal dinner was fun as well, with both of our families finally meeting.  After the dinner, I said goodbye to my groom, telling him I would see him at the end of the aisle.  I went to my mom's house for the night before my wedding and I was out like a light at 8:30pm.  I woke about an hour and a half later and then couldn't get back to save my life.  I finally fell asleep at about one-thirty.

     The morning of the wedding, my step-mom threw me a personal shower at a local breakfast place which was very fun and embarassing when my company insist I lift up the nighties so everyone could see.  I couldn't have picked a better final present.  My final present was from my grandmother and was my "Ashley Book."  It was a photo album full of photos of my from birth to grown.  Almost everyone was in tears.  This isn't when nerves hit, but this is when I realized that I was going though an amazing transition in my life and I was blessed to have the people around my who were supporting me.

     The hours before the wedding, nothing much was going on.  My wedding was at 6pm and the only thing I had to do after the breakfast was to get my hair done at 2pm.  After my hair was done, I went to my grandma's house (the wedding venue) and waited.  My matron of honor brought me a sandwich to eat and there wasn't much else to do.  I was in a very calm state.  I found myself looking at my wedding party and almost bursting into tears at how thankful I was that each of them were there by my side.  I think I had a moment with each one of them at different parts during the day.  My fun-loving and blessed mother of one of my flower girls, Kelcy, almost started crying at one part of the day and I realized that she drove nine hours in order to stand beside me.  My caring and compassionate maid of honor, Carli, was so focused on making sure I was comfortable and that I had everything I needed; Goodness gracious, she was such a blessing that day and every day.  My hormonal and loving matron of honor, Monica, who was close to tears quite a few times that day because of my lovely niece she is carrying, was so great that day.  Giving an emotional toast that made me cry and decorating my car with oreos, there is no question that my wedding day wouldn't have been the same without her. 

     Lastly, my wonderful bridesmaid, Emilee, who was added at the last minute as my fourth and final bridesmaid.  I knew it was the right decision to make sure she was in my wedding.  Em and I went through a pretty deep rough patch in our friendship that last almost two years with no contact.  We were best friends and just went through hard times at the same time and didn't know how to handle each other and just fell apart.  When we reconnected in February (I think), I was so thankful to have my best friend back.  We fell back into our friendship like those times never happened.  At the end of April, my matron of honor had some trouble with her dress so I thought, "Well, why not add Emilee?"  I knew it was the right decision.  I made some bad choices a few years back and almost lost another friendship and didn't have the pleasure of being beside her when she got married and it is one of my greatest regrets in life.  So a month before the wedding, I added another bridesmaid.

     The nerves finally hit about an hour before the ceremony.  I kept inadvertantly hearing things that weren't going as planned, (let's just say one of the groomsmen wasn't there until about five minutes before the wedding), and these things were beginning to stress me out.  But when it was finally time for my wedding party to walk, including three flower girls two years old and under, my nerves hit a high.  But everything went perfect.  Then it was my turn to walk down the aisle.  Everyone was standing and everyone's eyes were on me, but my eyes were only fixed on the man I was about to give my life to.  Once the ceremony began, it felt like it was over before I could blink five times.  The vows were my favorite part.  Jacob isn't a man of many words.  He has to take time to think about how he wants to say things because he wants to make sure that he says them perfectly, so I knew that these vows would blow me away.  I was right.  I was in tears early on in his vows.  Compared to his, I felt that mine weren't enough, although I don't think that is quite what he thinks.

     Before I knew it, we were husband and wife.  After bridal party pictures, the reception began.  The rain had a different agenda and I was just able to get in my first dance with my husband and my dance with my dad and the rain came.  We had a sparkler send off, so my mom prepared that and got us off to our hotel.  Everyone got to eat cake and the toasts were given, so as far as I am concerned, the reception was perfect as well.  We got to the hotel in the pouring rain and the rest is none of your business ;)

     My wedding was perfect.  I could not have imagined it on a better day, in a better way.  My wedding planner mother was absolutely amazing and did everything perfectly.  My flowers were perfect, the cake was perfect, and my girls were perfect.  Thank you to all who came and made my day perfectly perfect.

-Mrs. Atchley