I'm sorry I have been MIA for a few weeks. I have been working quite a bit and also sick for almost a week, so I have been out of the blogging thing for a bit. Being sorry fits perfectly because that's what this blog is about!
Forgiveness is HUGE not only in marriage, but in any relationship. If you aren't able to forgive, you aren't ready to be in a long term, committed relationship. If you are in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and you have trouble forgiving - get that figured out before you go any further!! I'm not say break up, by any means, but you owe it to yourself and your partner to be able to forgive them when they make mistakes.
In our pre-marital class, we were taught that arguments are part of not only marriage, but life in general. In any friendship, relationship, or even a work atmosphere, arguments and differences of opinion are going to happen. Let me say that again.
They WILL happen.
Not, "they MAY happen,"
not, "they COULD happen,"
If you are reading this and you have been in a relationship for years and haven't had an argument at all, I want to take this time to congratulate you and invite you to read the four lines above over and over again. I don't care if you have been with someone for ten years and have (somehow) not had an argument, you will. If you are committing your life to someone, you will eventually butt heads over something.
Since Jacob and I started dating, we have bickered about what movie to see, where to go out to eat, how to pronounce a word. Yeah - how to pronounce a word. That actually happened and ending up being a pretty legit argument. It all comes down to pride. Jacob and I are both prideful people and no matter how stupid the subject matter, neither of us has any desire to back down and admit they are wrong. If I started a discussion with him about how the sky is actually kind of green, I could potentially get my feelings hurt when he doesn't agree with me. This is something HUGE that both of us have been working on, and we have come quite a ways, actually. I have backed down in situations where I knew it would be stupid to keep up the bickering and so has Jacob. I can't stress enough that in any relationship, pride is not welcome. I'm not saying let your significant other walk all over you, but don't let your pride hurt them either.
One thing that I am so proud of in my marriage and relationship with Jacob is that we have NEVER had an argument that didn't get resolved before the night was over. We have NEVER gone to bed angry with each other. Ephesians 4:26 says, "don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry." This is a verse that we have based our relationship around and I am so thankful to God that we have been able to do so. Please take this to heart: don't waste precious moments being angry with the one you love. Jacob lost someone close to him a year ago this May and ever since then, I have been so fearful that when Jacob goes to work, he could not come back. Life can so easily be taken away from us. Don't waste precious moments with that person you spend your life with arguing about what's for dinner or how to discipline the kids. Spend time loving one another and putting their needs above your own.
Forgive each other.